Not So Great Expectations

“Why didn’t he call me back? He must not like me”

“Why is that shop closed today? The owners must be lazy”

“He was dressed like a bum! I would have never guessed he was the CEO of the company”

From your work to your personal life you carry certain expectations. Why do we have these expectations and where do they come from? Why do we demand things from others or believe that something will be a certain way? Is it something that you read or perhaps it derives from what your parents, teachers, coworkers, friends told you? Did you watch it on Oprah? Idk you tell me.

The reason I was thinking about this today is because I am trying to change my expectations, or rather try not to have any; this is something that may be rather trying since we go through life with so many expectations and it might just be the way our society is set up or how our brains are wired. I think this will help me live more in the moment and analyze my feelings and actions. 

When you send an email at work or call your significant other, when do you expect to get a response? Is an hour acceptable, or what about in ten days? How do you conclude what is acceptable behavior?

For work I recently traveled to Genoa, Italy for a work meeting. It was my first time in Europe, but I managed to pack light with just one bag and few expectations. I expected the food to be good, which it was, but what I didn’t expect was for restaurants and stores to be randomly closed throughout the day and then I got,”Oh, it’s the European way” people said. I also didn’t expect there to be so many people at the meeting (there were about 12) and I expected them to offer me some water, I suppose because that’s what we do here in America (I was so parched!)

 I have learned that expectations are like those last few drinks at the bar – you’re better off without them!  In fact, I can’t think of a single time in my life when I expected something to happen or be a particular way and it play out as anticipated. Take these for example: 

I didn’t expect to go to college; I wanted to go to Cosmetology School, but I ended up studying PR and Marketing and I loved every minute of it.

I didn’t expect or want to move to a cold climate and vowed I never would until one day I moved to the Appalachian Mountains and now that I live at the beach, I prefer the cool mountain air.

I used to be scared of unknown cultures and mysterious lands so I never expected to move to China for ten months or love traveling as an adult. 

Well, you get the picture.  I believe in keeping my mind and heart open because in the end, it doesn’t matter what I believe or expect; what will be, will be! There are so many things I cannot control and I cannot pretend to know what may or may not happen.

I’m not saying expectations are always bad. In fact, having hopes and things to look forward to are essential to staying motivated and leading a healthy life. I just mean to say, before you expect something, ask yourself why and determine if you are being reasonable.

Now back to my trip…keeping an open mind must be how I ended up in Nice, sipping on a vodka tonic      (I don’t drink liquor) at a bar called Wayne’s on a Sunday night listening to a British Band  with two girls from New Jersey that  live in Scotland.