Lesson Learned from Dale Carnigie: The Power of Face-to-Face Interaction

I am going to do the unthinkable: I am not going to blog about my trip to Europe. I had every intention to do so, and now, I simply can’t seem to contrive a post about it all – too much. I will post a few of my favorite moments when I am ready. Moving on…

I once read Dale Carnigie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and one of his points that still resonates with me years later is that no matter how much time passes or how technologically advanced we become, there is nothing that can replace face-to-face interfacing.

A few professional observations:

Allin Interactive – a turnkey interactive television company that I used to work for – would send me overseas for just a meeting or two in Italy. A thousand dollars and ten hours later, I would arrive at their headquarters for an hour long discussion.  At first, I thought this was an absurd gesture; a waste of money. But, now, upon reflecting, it made all the difference with our Italian clients. Speaking on the phone with them or video conferencing was an option, but even then, there were always things lost in transition. Simply put, face-to-face communication and the act of being physically present went a long way with these folks. This could be attributed to cultural differences or an old-fashioned business module, or…neither. I think it provided a sense of trust that as their Account Manager, I would be there for them, even though I was stationed in Miami, Florida, located an entire sea and thousands of miles away. When their CEO disliked a decision that was made four stories down, they needed someone they could contact and that could get them results… fast.

I have been in the process of relocating to Austin, Texas. As such, I have been company hunting and searching for potential job opportunities. I found what would seemingly be the perfect job for me – a kaleidoscope of travel, education and project management. I applied through the traditional online means, but I wanted to stand out; I wanted to show that I had more initiative than the other applicants. My decision to bring a second, nicely presented printed copy to the director came about and I did not think twice. Sadly, the director was out-of-office, but I left my information with an advisor within the same department. I am still waiting to hear back, but I hope that my efforts are not in vain. Not only was I disappointed that I could not get my face time, but I was also disappointed because I wanted to see how my little experiment would play out.  I guess I’ll have to report back when I know for certain.

A few personal observations:

I am not afraid of much. I am, however, terrified of awkward situations, confrontation and generally uncomfortable predicaments. The thought of disclosing information that could be potentially disappointing, sad, or angering scares me to death. I couldn’t imagine ever being a doctor having to tell an individual that a loved one has passed away. The things I am afraid of are much more insignificant, and although I am improving, I am still scared of the following (this list is not exclusive or all-encompassing, but simply serves as a glimpse of the situations I am afraid of): giving a leave notice at work, telling your significant other than you no longer want to be with them, revealing to a friend that their significant other is cheating on them, telling a friend that you are dating their crush, telling a friend you have a crush on them, asking someone that owes you money for that money back, telling someone you are very ill, telling someone you crashed their car, etc. I could probably go on for a long time with these scenarios, but I think that they all require, no – they deserve, an in-person conversation. Wouldn’t you be more angry or upset if these things were disclosed via text message?

Dating: OK, I understand that online dating has really worked for some people and that some others have no choice but to partake in long distance Skype love affairs, but if that can be replaced or somehow amended to include more personal contact, why wouldn’t you do it? I simply don’t see how people can spend a few months’ time chatting online and over the phone without actual contact and then get married. Call me crazy, but I believe that relationships are established and maintained through a series of trials and tribulations; without these, how are you going to know how your significant other will react in “X” situation? How can you really know if you are the fit for one another? This may sound ridiculous, but what if you meet them in person and are repulsed/ no longer find them attractive / they have chronic personal hygiene issues, etc. etc.? I am just saying – it could happen.

There are lots of reasons why I think no other form of communication trumps the face-to-face medium, but, I digress…

Austin Here I Come!

 

At the beginning of this month I had the pleasure of visiting Texas for the first time. I planned on spending some time in Austin and making a pit stop in Dallas, but alas, time did not allow. So, I will simply share what I gathered from my one week in Austin, spending time with local Austinites - who will soon no longer be strangers to me, as I am moving!

My general, these were my superficial observations:

1. The topography and landscape was quite hilly, luscious and green, which I for some reason wasn’t anticipating. The green bushes were what I like to call round and squatty - can you tell i need to research the nature there? I think yes...there are lots of greenways to hang out at and parks to throw the Frisbee, nap on a hammock, etc. I am excited to cycle there and not be in the flat lands and absurd traffic of south FL.

2. The downtown and surrounding areas were super clean! I visited UT's campus and meandered around the downtown area for several hours and only found one single piece of trash - i'd say people there take pride in their city and conserve the area.

3.The buildings /community had its own sense of culture, style and uniqueness. I can see why some would call it "weird" but in my opinion, it's just a liberal city where the population prefers colorful, graphical representations on their structures...self-expression, if you will. This works for me, as I prefer odd to boring. Homes also openly exhibited their political affiliations and their support for political candidates - you don't see this in Florida or North Carolina, but then again, FL might be one of the most generic/ hodge podge/ places I have ever encountered (you can be sure to find these in any random order: surf shop, liquor store, dollar store, liquor store, bar, Wal-Greens…rinse and repeat).

4. It's taco Tuesday all day, every day! I am not sure what I was expecting, but the Tex Mex foodies really stepped up their game in this town, offering varieties of tacos that would please any palate. if you don't enjoy tacos, I stay away from Austin!! It's also food truck nation; there are countless (meaning, LOTS) of food trucks selling anything from cupcakes to...you guessed it, tacos!

What did I do while I was there?

The culinary highlights include a pit stop at the quaint and quirky Magnolia Cafe which had hands down the best squash dish I've ever eaten –  I know you are thinking “what?! squash?!...” but, seriously their vegetarian curry and squash dish was amazing. I would highly recommend eating there if you are looking for good customer service and a quick bite at an affordable price. If you are looking for a more upbeat atmosphere with live music and a killer view, The Oasis at Lake Travis is right up your alley. There, you can feast on frozen margarita treats and watch the sun  go down ...people even clapped and yelped at the impressive view.

Unbeknownst to me (and probably the majority of the general population) Austin houses the largest

urban bat colony in North America and I apparently came during season, which is mid-March to early November. How perfectly out of place and random...

In the SoCo area of Austin, there's a place called Off the Wall which is a crazy/fun conglomerate of antiques, unique finds and gifts from all over the world. I was lucky enough to get a behind the scenes tour of the store, allowing me to inspect the quality thrift merchandise which can only be described as eclectic and trendy (I must say i am biased here - i could spend hours getting lost in antique/ thrift shops)

Austin won me over with its friendly faces and small-town vibes. Now, it’s time to continue to do what I do best, which is keep on keepin’ on and making moves to new and unfamiliar places (which is not common in my family as both of my parents hate traveling and much prefer to stay at home). As I sit in the Philadelphia airport waiting on my flight to London, I am already hearing those old familiar UK accents; Europe here I come!

Life is a Maze and I am Heading Towards the Cheese

My blogging is back by popular demand! Okay, not really, but I think that my blogging hiatus has been extended long enough - it’s time for a new chapter…a new beginning.

I would first like to explain the reasoning behind my writers block and/or lack of time to even think creatively. When life comes at you fast, you end up in survival mode and let me just say that survival mode is NOT a conducive environment for… well, anything. Although I don’t anticipate that life will ever be stress-free, I have reason to believe that I am making life changes that are going to allow me to have more time for myself and the things that I love – including blogging!



This is a work in progress and it's a VERY rough draft, but I am working
 on a brand - inspired by my family.
Once the final product is finished, I will share the details.



After much debate, I left me previous job because of the extensive traveling involved, among other things. The so called 15 percent traveling average turned into permanent residency abroad on ship construction sites. I will not bore you with details; all that is important is where I am headed. After clearing my desk, clearing my mind and parting ways with some bad habits, I came up with a plan, which I wanted to implement immediately – quick like a Band-Aid.



This is how rough I look when I work 100 hour weeks...no one wants to look at this. Also, if you look closely, there's a yellow truck in the background that has my name on it.



The Game Changer

1 – Asses my life goals, wants and needs

2- Travel for pleasure and to discover new business opportunities

3 – Find a job that suits me and that allows me to have a balanced work and personal life

Here is my timeline for the coming weeks of finding myself (no I am not having a crisis – I am simply searching for more out of life):

April 4 – April 9: Austin, Texas. There, I will partake in merriment with great friends. I will also be scoping the city to see if I would like to relocate. I am a proponent for finding a space/environment where you feel at home; a place where nature is abundant, the culture is lively and people stop to say hello.



The lovely Emma who will be joining me in my Euro excursions.



April 16 – May Emma and CZ’s Excellent European Adventure: Includes but is not limited to the following cities – London, Brugge, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Prague, Nuremburg, Cologne and Brussels. I can hardly contain my excitement!! I’ve been to many countries, but never to this region of the world. The shenanigans and excursions that are going to take place will be gold! I will also be sharing my travel budget – once completed - for the trip which is an adapted version of the following sites: Life Remotely and Microsoft Office Business Trip Budget templates.

The idea of moving and changing jobs can sometimes be overwhelming to people. Having lived abroad for a year and subsequently living out of a suitcase for a year and a half, I was more than ready for a change!  Everyone has bad days, but if yours heavily outweigh the good ones, it might be time for you to stop and evaluate what it is that is making you unhappy.

Action item for you, reader: For a month, document how you are spending your time, where your energy is spent, who you are surrounded by, what you are eating, thinking, etc. After the four weeks, you will have a good idea of your routine – or lack thereof – and what events/tasks/ behaviors are affecting the way you feel. Ask yourself, “is this what I want to be doing? Could I make any actionable changes (large or small) that will improve my quality of life”?

Simply put, if you are unhappy, it’s up to you to change it. No one else can change your attitude or behaviors for you. With that being said, sometimes all it takes is a simple attitude adjustment…but not in my case – I tried that first.

What a new environments/ relocating can do for you:

·         Force you to find a new rewarding career or business opportunity – network, network, network!

·         Allows you to meet new and interesting people - join a health club, participate in events with a local organization, support local businesses and take advantage of every encounter.

·         Give you a new perspective on American culture (given that the new location is within the U.S.). Different cities have varying cultures, lifestyles and demographics.

·         Depending on the circumstances, you may find yourself alone in a city, which pushes you to fend for yourself and find the independent person within. On the other hand, you may be moving to be closer to family and friends  - this will provide you with a much needed support system.

·         Different things to do and fresh places – you can spend your time discovering local treasures, interesting places to eat, new hang outs and more.

If you have recently moved, I would love to hear your feedback about your first impressions and reactions to your new environment!





I promise I am still here..

I am still alive - just been here and there. I will be back stronger than ever..just not sure when.

- Blog Hiatus.

The 3 Little Work Conundrums

While reading a few blogs today, I found a few workplace themes or recurring issues I thought were quite interesting. Based on many others' experiences and stories, I wanted to give a few examples and ask following...

Picture this: You get the job. You strut your stuff as you give out your business cards and you are ecstatic that your bank account finally has enough digits to buy you something other than ramen noodles. You have a salary and benefits, hallelujah! Then, the unexpected happens… 

This is like the butterfly effect - you get to pick the ending! Which paradigm are you most closely associated with in each scenario?

1) You hate your job. Wait a minute, this wasn’t supposed to happen?! You thought this was your dream job. You were pumped when you got hired – eager to work with your banana republic trousers and your game face on. So what happened?  You realized that the job reality didn’t quite match up to the job description or perhaps, like so many recent college graduates or unemployed citizens, you were just so enthralled with the thought of having a job –any job - that you were blindsided. 

Now what?

School of thought a: suck it up, this is a recession and life isn’t made of roses. Change your attitude and get back to work. You can find a better job in two years.

Oh, you hate your job?  Why didn't you say so?  There's a support group for that.  It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.  ~Drew Carey

School of thought b: Start looking for a new job as of yesterday. Life is too short to stay in a miserable, motivating, life-sucking position. I need to find something that I love doing.

 Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.  ~H. Jackson Browne

2) Everyone’s warned you about it. Your mom would definitely disapprove. You know it’s a bad idea and yet somehow it happens – you get “involved” with someone at work. You don’t even know if you signed a document stating “thou shall not fraternize with co-workers.” THINK THINK! What did that contract say and why do you not have a copy of it now? Does anyone at work know? You tried to keep it a secret but you suspect rumors are circulating.

Now what?

School of thought a: I am professional, damn it. People are a dime a dozen and I can find someone to hang out with romantically anywhere. You shouldn’t put yourself in a sticky situation, especially when it involves work.

School of thought b: work is work. It is not their business what happens outside of the workplace. I dare someone to say something to me. If no PDA or even hint of a relationship is occurring at work, what is the problem? All I need to do is get ahold of the document I signed upon employment…

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.  ~Arnold Toynbee
 

3) What review? What raise? Your pay is based on a yearly review. Your review determines whether or not you get a pay increase and it is your direct boss’ duty to perform that yearly review. The only problem is, your boss is nearly a year behind on your first review and your second year mark is coming up - aka time for another review. You have asked for a review both in person and in written form, but still nothing.

Now What?

School of thought a: you need to grow a pair and take the issue to upper management and demand that you get your rightfully deserved review. You don’t care that you are stepping on your boss’ toes. Who cares if he makes you miserable for the next couple of weeks, maybe even months, because you tattle tailed on him. At least this way you will be getting your raise, hopefully, maybe…

School of thought b: I need to wait it out until the second review time comes along and politely remind my boss that now I am an entire year behind. When he does not follow through yet again, I will persist and just hope that he will actually do his job this time – hey it could happen, right?

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.  ~Paula Poundstone

Beat the Bloat 2011

In an effort to get my groove back and my booty whooped into shape, I have started (once again) running about 30 miles a week and doing 30 min weight training sessions every day after work. So far, so good. I don’t have as much trouble on the working out and breaking a sweat part as much as I have a problem with food. How much do I really need to eat and when is a tricker formula than it sounds. This is especially true because I can’t eat particular food because my stomach is so sensitive and I really have to plan in advance. I have been trying to collect a few recipes that are simple and easy to do, because by the time I get done at the gym, it’s 8pm and I am starving. If I am really running low on time, I go for my "quick" meal ingredients to make a salad and add beans as for protein or I simply have a protein shake – GNC’s generic cookies and cream flavor is the best.

Also, I don’t know about y’all but my top 5 favorite diet busters are so hard to give up…everything in moderation, right? The only problem is I don’t know how to eat these things in moderation. I could eat buckets full of this stuff:

1) Beer and Wine

2) Chicken nuggets and wings with lots of SAUCY SAUCE

3) Ice Cream and frozen yogurt

4) BREAD in all of its forms

5) French fries

I apologize ahead of time for the lack of measurement in these recipes, but literally I just eye-ball most of the things I make, so it’s hard to say. Just taste it, add to it, repeat, repeat, until finally satisfied.

 

Turkey Trot Burgers (watch out now, they have a little a bit of a kick!)

Ingredients:

1lb ground turkey

½ diced yellow or white onion

 1 fresh garlic clove or 2 teaspoons minced garlic

Eyeball it – onion powder

Heavy hand of ground black pepper

1 fresh minced jalapeno

Dash of paprika

Heavy dash of chili powder

Dash of crushed red pepper flakes

1 egg white

Variations –

depending on what you feel like, add BBQ sauce, hot Sauce, soy sauce, or salsa directly on the meat. I think it makes it more tender…

Caramelize your onions…

Directions:

Fold ALL of the ingredients into the ground turkey meat and separate into patties.  Cook on the stove in a skillet or on a grill for about 10 min.

Breakfast in the morning, breakfast in the evening, breakfast anytime!

For a very low cal, but delicious breakfast try this egg white omlette with stewed cinnamon apples

Ingredients:

4 egg whites or 3 egg whites and one full egg

Chopped veggies of your choice

(cheese - optional – I recommend pepper jack or Colby jack)

Two small apples or one large

Cinnamon

2 or 3 splashes of Orange Juice

Dash of salt

Directions:

Chop the apples up into chicken-finger sized wedges

Pour the OJ on top of the apples and as the pot warms up, keep sprinkling the cinnamon on top of the apples until the cinnamon gets thick with the orange juice – at this point the heat should be on medium

Add the dash of salt

Stop cooking when the apples are soft and the sauce is thick

Crack your eggs and separate your yolks from your egg white. Spray a pan with non-stick spray and throw in any veggies you have laying around – onions, peppers, jalapenos, mushrooms, spinach… it’s all good! Then add your eggs. Egg whites are ready when they are no longer runny.

Nacho Mama’s Guacamole

As many avocados as you please, but for this recipe’s sake (makes about 2 cups) 4 medium avocados

1 small tomato

¼ yellow or white onions

Dash of cumin

Lots of garlic! I use about 2 teaspoons of minced garlic but this is up to you

Onion powder

3 squirts of lemon

Ground black pepper

Salt is kind of optional here – I would add a tiny but, but honestly you won’t miss it and I am an advocate for consuming less salt

 Looking for a little more pizazz? Try adding jalapenos, poblano peppers or diced red peppers

Directions: FOLD, don’t mash these ingredients together in order to preserve the chunky texture. Refrigerate.

Throw guac in a pita, on a sandwich with bacon, on a salad, eat with chips, with celery, heck eat with eggs -  the possibilities are endless!!

My alternative cardio sessions when I am not running are composed of the stairmill (like a stairmaster, but the stairs are moving) walking at at least 4.0 on a 5.0 incline, bootcamp classes, and cycling classes. I definitely think that on days when you are not feeling particular motivated, working out with other people gives you the boost you need. I recently read that even 10 min a day of breaking a sweat can keep your metabolism revved up. Get up and go do something. I wish my cubicle had a treadmill.

I recently did the Warrior Dash, which was a great experience. It is definately more about the fun than the competition. I would encourage trying it one time, but unless the obstacles get more creative, I probably won't do it again. There were walls to climb, mud to trek, firepoles to slide down, barbed wire to crawl under, you get the picture.

Possibly the Quickest Trip to Turkey and Greece...

My favorite part about traveling is not knowing what a place will be like until you get there – some destinations are all hype and some do not disappoint. The good thing about my job is that it allows me to catch a sneak peak at places I may want to return to in the future and that is something I am definitely thankful for. This time, I went on an an ITV upgrade on Royal Caribbean's Navigator of the Seas.

I usually give a good recap of the places I visit, but honestly I was only in Athens and Kusadasi long enough to give you a first impression.

Athens, Greece

The Acropolis is situated in the middle of a city and then bam. There it is. About two right turns from a Starbucks – you just have to laugh. I can only imagine its grandeur when it was first built. First off, please do not let the sleeze bags take your money and convince you that they are doing YOU a favor. From the train station where most tourists arrive, it is a 15 min drive to the attractions. If you get in a cab, make sure you do not pay more than 20 Euro. They all speak English and they will all try to talk you into all kinds of things all day long. If you purchase the ticket for the Acropolis, it costs 12 Euro and you get access to the rest of the sites. Don’t take the tour bus. A note of warning, it can be quite windy and dusty – as in, if you wear white and don’t wear sunglasses, you will come out blind and wearing brown.

There are a good amount of nice, reasonably priced cafes all around. Ask for something traditional and don’t get a Caesar salad. Do try the olives!! (ps – this is why I gain so much weight when I travel often. Seriously though, how can you ever guarantee you will be in such a cool place?

Things to see..

The karyatides statues

Theater of Dionysus



I wasn't expecting such a large crowd or the construction occuring onsite

View from the top



It was so dusty and dirty that my foot was literally two different colors





We refused to pay more money for two cabs - cram cram cram!